Fatherhood

I'll admit that I just barely completed my fatherhood paper for Family Relations class. But I have to say how grateful that I am for the opportunity that I had to research that and think about it in relation to my future family. Like I said in my paper, I've always been afraid of how my future husband will father and whether he'll have a positive or negative effect on our children, but now I realize that I have a lot more power than I knew regarding how husband fathers. Yes!

Council with Your Counsels

When we read that talk by Elder Ballard I really love a lot of the things he talked about. I love them so much, in fact, that I talked to my fiance about a couple of the points. I think it'll be such a precious ability in our relationship to be able to communicate and "discuss, discuss, discuss" things; maintaining "profound respect" and, in the end, being 100% together on the end result. The best part, I thought, was when the speaker in the sound bite talked about how the Spirit will tell you when something the right decision. It's important and possible for us to remain so open because we're not discussing the matter in order to find out who will win, but to find out the truth.

Stressors

When we discussed stressors, I got an overwhelming sense of fear (not a big surprise since that happens a lot, but this one was particularly potent). I began to imagine all of the things that my future family might possibly have to go through. Death? Divorce? Child rebellion? Poverty? I ruminated on that for the next couple of days, increasing my anxiety even more. But the more I thought about it, the more I also thought about the coping mechanisms and the strategies. I especially liked reading about the things that I could do, as a future mother and wife. So, come what may, I have the Lord on my side and now I also have these coping mechanisms.

God Hath Not Given Us the Spirit of Fear

Earlier this week we talked about affairs and how to prevent them. Honestly it's always made it very difficult for me to fully be comfortable with marriage. When I was reading it, I got even more afraid. So I talked with my fiance about it and we came up with some rules/precautions of how to avoid getting anywhere near situations that would tempt either of us, or anyone else for that matter, to be unfaithful in any way. Every time I discuss anything with him I fall in love with him all over again because I know that he's telling me the truth. It shows his integrity to me and I can't figure out how I got so lucky. However, like I said earlier, we both know that when we allow ourselves to be in certain situations enough then, after a while, our character doesn't matter. The Lord advises us to stay out of those situations, therefore, we will. I fear infidelity so much less now that I've discussed this with him. Marriage truly is a leap of faith.

More Than I Planned

This past week in Family Relations we talked about transitions into marriage as well as into life with children. I just became engaged last weekend (YAY!) and, as you can see, I am ecstatic! I have to say, however, that the class discussions scared me a little bit. It's difficult for me to remain sure of myself when several theories are second-guessing my choices. I realized, though, that those are just theories, as well as the fact that nobody is perfect. The man I have chosen has so so many wonderful qualities and that is why I have fallen in love with him and continue to do so daily. I believe that a lot of the things said in the textbooks and by researchers are very much suggestions; I'm not going to have an unhappy marriage if I don't follow every single viewpoint. But I will if I am aware, selfless, and try my hardest to do everything in my power to lead this marriage towards eternal progression.